India premier:

Because I already wrote an extremely lengthy post about India–which did not load, and was lost–this is going to be a numbered list event.

1.) I am met at the airport in Delhi by Shiv Sahai, he takes me back to his apartment where he lives with his wife Vijnay, his mother, and his father. Shive Plays tabla, his dad plays sarangi–a type of Indian violin.
2.) I spend my first two nights, and three days in Delhi.
3.) Shiv’s across the hall neighbor wants me to take her beautiful niece back to America with me–sorry.
4.) Delhi is about as safe as the Bronx at 3 A.M. in a klan hood, mad skeezers.
5.)Shive takes me to buy a tabla in some beat-ass alleyway. The tabla maker’s ’shop’ is a hole in the wall that is literally filled with dayan (the wooden drum).
6.)The roads in India are insanity. This is what is on Indian roads: cows, cars, motorcycles, scooters, bicycles, auto rickshaws–covered three wheel scooters, cars, buses of various sizes, people walking, and people hauling all kinds of overflowing carts. The roads outside of Delhi that I travelled on are two lanes wide, and it takes forever to get anywhere.
7.) On driving the roads in India: welcome to Mad Max. The only law that is obeyed is stopping at red lights. Driving on the opposite side of the road is totally fine. Horns are measured in disuse, as they are used for spatial indication, thus horns are always blaring.
8.) Shower=bucket of water that you pour over yourself. Toilet=porcelain hole that you squat over. I must admit that both of these are not bad, although it took me a bit to get over the stigma of wiping my butt with my hand (I didn’t poop for two days).
9.)I saw no other light people in Delhi.
10.) I poopoo Delhi.
11.) Rishiskesh is full of foreigners, but not many Americans. There are lots of European hippies here. In my opinion they are filthy–cigarette butts everywhere, trash everywhere–but I supose that thye fit right in.
12.) You thought that the Ganges was a holy river? So did I, but that doesn’t stop the literal mountainside of garbage that flows into it.
13.) I thought cows were holy too, but that excludes the times when people are hitting them, sometimes with sticks.
14.) The staff at the guest house where I am staying is amazingly friendly, and enthusiatic.
15.) American capitalism is a wonderful thing, because my hard-earned dollars go quite far. One night in a guest house=120 rupees=three dollars. I can drink two glasses of fresh pineapple juice for a little less than a dollar.
16.) 95% of signage is handmade. Margaret Kilgallen would have shit herself.
17.) If I don’t have your address already please email me. Conceptual postcards mailing tomorrow.
18.) It is wonderful here please do not worry for me, I am wishing you all the best while I am abroad.